What to think on and what not?

Hi everyone. In today’s article I would like to write, in order to help your productivity, about what to think on and what not. Because according me, there is no such a shame like using your unique thoughts on the things you can not influence.

I was doing it for some period of my life. When I found myself not in the situation I wished, and I thought I wasn’t guilty, I was blaming everyone around me. If you are as well pointing as a cause of your “troubles” on your friends, family, state system, employer, universe or month you were born, you should know that you have a problem. And I would like to help you change your mind.

What I can’t influence I don’t think on

So simple it is! Unfortunately, most of the population don’t know it. Otherwise, you won’t hear in 95% of conversation talks about the weather. Or complaints about the weather. Friend out of Australia might call you in December saying how is enjoying the surfing and the almost 40-ies temperature.

Drinks on the beach and sunlight until so late like 10pm. Yeah, he is your friend, but in that moment, you would like to do something to him. Come on sun? You are in the Europe, you don’t have sun in December. Why is he mentioning it?

I don’t know if you smiled after reading this part, but that might be thoughts of someone.

But why? Can we somehow influence the weather? Generally not. Would not be better to speak about success of our kids for example?

There are more other areas, we don’t have any influence, but still we like to think or deal with it.

For example in the work environment where you might hear like someone is saying something inflammatory about you, or someone is even saying to you directly.

It is not nice to hear these kind of things from your colleague or even from your boss, I know.

You can react in two ways: 1.his interpretation what happened is incorrect and therefore after your explanation he might change his opinion

2.his interpretation was correct, but he does not like you as a person and that is OK, you should not be worried therefore

Situations I can not influence

Why you should be OK and stop thinking on his opinion, even the knowledge of his thoughts about you was painful? The answer is another question: Do you have a positive opinion about EVERYONE?

I don’t think so. And do you think that this person, you are not enjoying his/her company is feeling bad the negative feelings towards you? So why should you?

I know it sounded harsh, but that is reality, sometimes. Thanks God for he perfect colleagues and all the people who love us;-)

What other situation except other people’s thoughts and weather we can not influence?

YOU HAVE BEEN SUCKED. Can you? No. You could then, when you were working, but now you can not. It’s done. You have to accept it and search for new job. Or start your new company.

I know it’s hard. And maybe it wasn’t even your fault, you got fired, the company might bankrupt, but those things are happening and rather than spend too much time on thinking on it and discussing it with your friends, you should start searching for the solutions ASAP.

Of course, give yourself time to go over the loss. You might loved your colleagues, or the job itself.  Depends on each and every personality, but ideally, you would spend 1-2 days with sad feelings, later on, there is importance of action.

YOU ARE SINGLE AGAIN. It is the same like being sucked. You could influence and change the direction of your relationship, when you were in there, when you were living it.

If some of you decide, it is over, then in majority cases it is too late. ( I said in majority, because sometimes partners can change their minds)

LOSS OF SOMEONE IMPORTANT. That is a huge tragedy, if something like this happen to you. All of us wish, that it would never occur to us, but sometimes it does. It can have devastating impact on our lives, but we will need to go on at some point.

Important would be here again, to find out, if we could influence it. Mostly we will find out, if we are honest to us, that we shouldn’t. Now, don’t get me wrong, it is OK to be sad, as well to cry if you loved the person. Just don’t get too much into it and give yourself guilt.

My beloved grandpa died 4 years ago and I know how difficult was that for me. i was living in different country, was not at his funeral and my heart was full of pain. I cried for two days long, I was 25 back then.

What else could I do? Kept memories of this amazing person and I am trying to live the life which is meaningful for  me and for others.

Being sad is OK, just don’t let it in your heart too long.

I know, I am using some harder life situations, but I just want demonstrate the importance of right recognition of our influence in particular cases, even if the circumstances are hard, those is life bringing sometimes, as well as, those beautiful one, there are those darker one.

But don’t forget that not the situations itself, but OUR VIEW on them is decisive.

Situations I can influence.

On the other hand, there are plenty of situations, we can influence, but many of us are not even trying to proactively act, while having the chance.

The reasons can be different. Mostly, many of us are having a fear or are afraid to act in order to change the parts our life we don’t like and we wish to change.

What are the situations, we have full control( even you might thought you don’t).

CHANGING THE JOB or RAISE. While in the previous example, when you have been sucked, you don’t have impact, here you have. Is it your boss overlooking your talent or how beneficial you are to the company? Or don’t you cope with the values of your company or feeling bored in the job? Is your salary too low?

In all cases you can change it. If your appeal won’t be met with success, you might still find a new job, which will suits you better.

If you think that you don’t have this power and you would like to receive some kind of caress in your bad situation, I have to disappoint you, it is that you become too comfortable in your present situation.

I know often times, we can not change the job straight away, if we are responsible for feeding the whole family, you’ll be hardly staying one month without salary. But you might try to find the way anyway. There can be option waiting for you, just around the corner. Important here, to understand that you are having this power of change.

Have a look here, if you have troubles to make changes. Life without limits Why isn’t too late for that change?

LOSING WEIGHT. I know it would be easier to say, that we are not responsible for our overweight, but again we are.( except cases, caused by health limitations).

It would be uncomfortable, but you can do it. Set up the menu and start to move. Doesn’t have to be a marathon or 2 hours of fitness at the beginning.But short walks instead of car drive of 1 mile. Or bike ride.Short run, whatever you feel you could start with. If you fail in being persistent, find buddy, who will join you.

Visit some workshops of people who can help you, like people who were in your situation and therefore can provide own experiences, how they did it. Do something towards reduction of your overweight.

FRIENDS or THOUGHTS. You can choose your friends, but you can not choose your family. Do you know this old saying? Well, here it is perfect fit.

If your life journey has changed, and your pal you were friends for last 10 years has still the same route, it could be difficult to stay friends. Soon or later you will find out that your interests are other than his, and you have hardly something to share.

It is sad, but it is happening. What you will do then? Sometimes are the differences to high and in order our own prosperity we have to go further separated..

If you would like improve the quality of your thoughts, please have look on my previous article, I think it will give you some inspiration. Power of our mind,

Allow your mind to be free

Why am I stressing out about this topic? Because I see more and more people spending too much concentration on the things they can not change and forgetting to focus on the things they might change. In other words they forget to ask the question of what to think on and what not.

If you will recognise it and apply it, you will safe yourself a lot of time. Even it can be sometimes highly uncomfortable. But soon as you start, you will see changes in your life. The people who will inspire you, and share your opinions will stay in your life. And all of those negative, will slowly start to disappear.

If you know that you and only you might change the situation, you can quickly search for solutions. To giving the guilt everywhere else is costing you time and peace in your mind.

And the same, the other way around, if it will happen something you can not influence, as soon as you will accept it, as a thing you can not change, so earlier you can focus on other things in your life you might change. Or just spend more quality time with your love ones.

It can be definitely hard to start with application of your new point of view. But step by step you can get to the point, when you will be completely able to recognise your possible impact in the present situations and then act in connection with it.

From my own experience, I know it is worth of the fight. Nowadays, I am enjoying the perfect freedom I found, by knowing the fact, that there are things I will never be able change and there are things I may change. I hope you will find the same power of your own decisions and that freedom coming out of this knowledge.

I hope this article wasn’t too negative. The purpose is too show that there are various serious life situations, but as well less serious happening. And we have our unique choice to react on them. Even proactively search for solution or leave them. Being in full charge of our decision is the power we shouldn’t take too easy.

I would be really happy to hear from you, if you have some experiences when you were too much into things you were not able to influence. And what works for you in order to deal just with that you can change.

Best Luck towards your dreamed life!

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john
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john

Good Article!!

Kat
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I had to laugh at you comparison between Australia and where you are located regarding perspective and comparison. As I live in Australia and feel those hot summer days, I’m the one wishing I was in a colder climate lol! But this isn’t helpful for having a positive focus of our attention so thanks for bringing this to our attention. You’re right, focus on what we can influence rather than things we know realistically can’t be changed. What we focus and think about influences our world and then what comes into it. Thanks for raising this awareness and sharing.

Joonas
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Thanks for an excellent post, there is some very good advice here. I have been trying to think the way you are recommending for a long time and it works! Unfortunately, sometimes I forget this and start pondering on things that I can not change. I think it’s best to assess each situation and think what could have been done differently, if anything, decide to apply this in the future and then move on.