If we would measure the most common questions within the humankind, how to find a true happiness, would be definitely one of them. Do you think the same?
Ages ago happened this question being set and since then generations are asking the same. While the essence of the questions stays within the centuries same, the answer is changing according the era we are living. What people considered as happiness 100 years ago, is now considered being poor and unhappy lifestyle.
Within my post I would like to cover various topics, among all others you can find:
-the right way how to find a true happiness
-the wrong way how to find a rue happiness
-money and happiness
-expectations and definitions
Make yourself tee, coffee or pour you self a glass of quality vine, feel comfortable and enjoy!;-)
What is a true happiness?
As a first I think, i have to mention that feeling happy is not the same as being lucky. The fact that we are living in the era, in which covering distance of 100 km take us 1 hour instead of 1 day, like it was some 100 years ago, is big LUCK for us While waking up with a smile and having the job we love makes us HAPPY.
Normally, it should be somehow expectable that with the higher living standard people would be happier, unfortunately, that is not always the case.
How otherwise could we explain this shocking statistic? :
In the article you will read among other information, that the suicide rate in one of the most developed country, in the US jumped 30% from 2000 to 2016, according to data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
Shock? Maybe, but sad reality.
Easier accessible gods, services and sources of all kinds, are despite all expectations not making one’s life happier!
To answer the question of what is a true happiness, we have to count 7 billions opinions worldwide. For everyone means TRUE HAPPINESS something else. And that makes us humans, so unique.
But generally speaking there are some basic requirements and needs, once full filed, one’s considered being happy. Among the advanced one and those highly depended on our environment, the most common are:
-owning/renting place to sleep
-having enough food to feed individual as well as community living in(here belongs family too)
-enough money to safe and provide sufficient amenities for one’s life
-having enough friends( rich social life)
Of course, there are other things, people need to feel happy in their everyday life, but those are expressing the standard. And if one is living the life in accordance with them, one’s considered being happy. Why are rich people committing suicides then? One of the reasons is, that they don’t search for happiness the right way.
The wrong ways of finding a true happiness
To answer the previous question, some might say that people are unhappy because of the money. That money causing bad in character. But is it really like that?
Even we are living in the era were, there are “thousands ways to a million”, I don’t think that the main reason while are people unhappy, have a crooked images and why some of them choose to end their journey, is money.
There are plenty of other examples, where rich people are happy and of the reasons they confess why they feel happy are money. I am posting the wrong ways of finding a true happiness, here:
Power-In the past, there are stories, which proved us how destructive can be the desire for power. You know those stories, if you know Hitler, Stalin, Mussolini. We don’t have to go some 70 years back, because many of us also know Bin Ladin for example. Were those people happy? Or were the people living in the countries, where those “leaders” were living happy?
Well, for certain period maybe, but we all know how infamous they finished. I hope we all would agree that this “short term happiness” is not the right way.
To be clear, to search for power, influence or control is fine, only if we are not decreasing others freedom. Wanting to control your life it’s perfect, but if you want to over “power control” life of you closest one, that’s less perfect.
TV and Internet- They both can help in our everyday life. On internet, we can find any information in matter of couple of seconds, or minutes. We are able to connect with our beloved ones from anywhere in the world we are. As well as one good movie in the TV after exhausting working week can help us relax.
The problem TV and Internet would be, if they become our source for so called instant happiness. You know those cases when you’re bored, you don’t know what to do, so you turn on the TV, open Facebook or other social media tool. Just to hang or scroll there. Besides the fact that you will start to feel bored even more as you were before, you are killing you potential.
In most cases people who are not happy with their real life, finding pleasure watching by TV or surfing on the Internet. So they have an option to live at least for some moments “better” life.
Again, in this case I hope we agree that, this is not the way to find a happiness.
Sex or drugs –Are again in the category of an “instant happiness”. While being drug addict is considered with any kind of society as a result of unhappy life, being sexual addict, is something people were not aware of in the past. It becomes phenomenon within last 21st century.
The impact this addiction can have on one’s health is less destructive, like in case of drug addiction, but the effect on one’s happiness is almost the same. Anyone who is addicted to something, is in the state were just increased amount of the cause of pleasure, whatever that is(sex as well) is helping in everyday life.
This article is about finding a real happiness, so to finish this paragraph, those who think sex is just a pleasure, there are cases of death during an orgasm! Unfortunately!
I hope we would agree, that those ways are not the right ones in order to find long-lasting and real happiness.
The right ways of how to find a true happiness
As already mentioned, there is difference between happiness and being lucky. And as well as, between short term happiness, so called pleasure or long term happiness, called fulfillment.
Pleasure is giving us feeling of happiness for short period of the time. Example out of everyday life is the phrase we used to say when we meet someone new and we are delighted to get to know that person. We do say “it’s my pleasure”
That last for a moment, tomorrow we don’t have the same feeling.
What are short terms of happiness I already described in the chapter, the wrong ways of finding the happiness.
But what are the long terms? What can guarantee one’s feeling of fulfillment?
Hereby I am going to describe some matters, which can bring fulfillment and happiness into one’s life.
Work-Yes, it is true. There are people living right now, to whom they work is bringing happiness. Those people are looking on their work as a MISSION and SERIVCE at the same time. And that’s why it is fulfilling them.
I know it can be surprise for those who are doing their job just in order to pay you bills, or accomplish their social need.
I was the same, a few years back, but I made some changes, and now I found fulfillment in my work. In case you’d like to achieve the same, but you have doubts on how, this article can help you to find you purpose in you work
Helping others– How did you feel when you really helped someone? For instance, helped blind person to cross the street, or disabled person to feel comfortable in society of “normal” people?
How did you feel when you did free up space for some elderly person in local bus, or other public transportation? Or how did you feel when you make you new colleague feel welcome and comfortable in your working team?
I know that the expressions of respect of this kind, are not enjoying the same value like they did, some 20+ years ago, but i still believe in the simple rule, what you give, you will receive. If you would love to receive some wonderful things in your life, you might think about helping others.
If you are doing it already, it is perfect and please do continue. In case you still don’t and you’d like, you have plenty of options. Please, remember that it doesn’t have to be something huge at the beginning. You don’t have to spend all of you saving into charity in you city.
You can tart small. For example, with calling call someone close to you heart and ask how they are doing. Or if they don’t need help with something. Or you can hold the door for someone entering public facility just after you, give a smile to cashier if she can not give you change as quickly as you wished at first instance, or you can have a small talk next to the coffee machine if you meet there you colleague, rather like responding that you have something important to finish. By doing small favors, and helping little, you might find fulfillment and that’s why you might continue with bigger things…
Absolutely perfect is, if you achieve the state, where you connect you full filing work, with helping others. It is amazing feeling, you can trust me!
Freedom- I don’t mean freedom, when your partner is allowing you to go out to have drinks with you pals. Or freedom you have at your “day off” from you daily job.
No, I meant the freedom in terms of you life. The knowledge that you have freedom to live whenever and with whoever you’d like. The freedom of choice, to accept or on the other side to decline some job offers. Imagine the freedom you have if you are able to decline well-paid job, just because it will not bring you FULLFILMENT. Or because it is against you VALUES. Or because accepting this amazing offer, you will have not time left to spend on your passions, or with you family.
Yes, to decline this, you have to have courage, plus you ahve to know you values and ideally you already have sufficiently paid job. All of that, not so hard to achieve. Or yes?
I don’t know how about you, but for me, is my freedom my value number one. For me, to be aware of that I have the freedom of these choices, is absolutely revealing.
Money and happiness
Huge amount of people worldwide is convinced that money are bringing you happiness. But what about Elvis Presley, Robin Williams, or Chester Bennington( lead singer of linking park)? They decided to end their lives, even they were amazingly rich.
If money would buy all the happiness, why they would do it? On the other side could someone feel happiness without any belongings? (Except buddhistic monks)
There are several surveys made to see the direct relation between money and happiness. Precisely, on how money influence one’s feeling of happiness. Reportedly Up to 75 $000/year is boundary. Earning more than that, money are not having direct influence on your happiness.
Possessing money is very important, saying something else would be buck-passing statement. The countries were the GDP is deep below the standard, are considered poor, and inhabitants of those countries as an unhappy person. Inability to provide basic care, like flat, food, clothes for you or you family, you can hardly feel happiness.
My opinion, is that money itself is not bringing you true happiness. The freedom you might feel money are bringing you, can bring you happiness. The fact that you can send your kid to “expensive” private school, the fact that you can use a car for transportation rather like public transportation is giving you freedom and therefore happiness, or the fact that you can provide you family with the quality goods they need, like clothes, food, health care is bringing you happiness.
But if you think the money itself is source of you happiness, you are wrong. How long would you feel happy after buying newest Porsche, if you have no one to share the car with? Or if you possess money, that you can buy anything you wish, but you are doing job you hate?
For short moment you feel will the joy of having this asset, it can be car, motorcycle, TV, whatever, but if it is not full filing deeper purpose, you feel bored after a while. And then you would need new car, motorcycle, TV..after a while and again, and again. Where is the end?
What is happiness for me?
With this question I would like to end my post. I think everyone has to answer what the true happiness means for him or her self.
I provided you some ways I think are leading towards happiness, and as well some, which are on the side not leading to happiness. There are plenty of items I forgot to mention, for example good relationships and good communication, but within my post I tried to cover the most important for now, and I will maybe cover them in my next blog post.
For now, the most important information out of my post would be, if you you want to know how to find a true happiness, search for fulfillment. This is going to bring you long-lasting happiness.
Pleasure, however pleasant it can be, is short lasting exciting feeling, which will unfortunately soon ends. I am not saying we should avoid any pleasure out of our life to feel happiness. (I do love pleasure as well-;)
I am just pointing out, that if you would like to live life with HAPPINESS, you have to find fulfillment first.
I hope I could help you within my post, if you have any comments, please let them below and I would more than happy to reply.