The question you might set up as well. How to make my right decisions? Many people did, so there is high chance that you did it as well someday.
To know how to make right decisions is crucial in any are of my life. We are making thousands of decisions daily. Coming from small and relatively not important, like what to wear( for some women very important one though 😉 or decisions about how to spend my free evening, if at home with a book or outside with bunch friends, till my more important one.
The important one could be where, with who to live. Or what to do in your life. Being in employment or being freelancer/self-employed?
Surprisingly enough, there is just a one way to solve all your decisions. There is one factor, which should lead you and guide you toward my right decision. Even my small one or my big one.
Which one is it then? Well there are two, but influencing each other very closely.
Your VALUES and your PRIORITIES.
Define my terms
Ivo Toman, Czech motivational and marketing author, is describing his VALUES to my constitution. And he has them displayed on first page of his notebook, so he is having them every day right in front of him, what allows him to make decisions on daily basis according his VALUES.
Let me explain first my difference between VALUES
and PRIORITIES. As, some of you can get confused about my meaning of those two.
VALUES are things which define us. They should stay unyielding, once set up. They are core of our behavior. Make it easier to understand, imagine something you are afraid of, like dark for example. What is it, you would walk into dark room for? Your family? Your friends, job, money health? Then you have list of your core VALUES.
PRIORITIES are in first instance helping us with direct actions we are going to make, according our VALUES. They are often seen in everyday life, and they are having therefore direct influence on our daily activities. In general, knowing your VALUES is going to help you define your PRIORITIES and this together is going to help you with actions towards your desired state. In everyday life as well as in long terms. And as well with your decisions-making ability.
How can Value help me with making right decisions?
There is direct link between your actions and your VALUES. To better imagine it, you can think about it that way
If you, know your VALUES you will be pretty straight forward in everyday life. You will know what to do and what not in everyday life, because you know, that it is in cooperation with your core definition. If on my other hand you are not aware of them, you will be like, thin tree branch, bends by wind. Not stable and changing my direction.
Opposite to that, knowing your VALUES will ultimately lead to life, in which you will have full control of your decisions. Sounds like a good option to you? Well, it should.
From my personal experience I have to say, that finding my time to set up my constitution, my personal VALUES, gives me significant freedom.
In my following paragraph you can see my direct connection between VALUES and PRIORITIES, and you can easily define your following steps.
VALUE PRIORITY ACTION
Family Visiting your parents Make it every Saturday
Relationship Spending more free time with your spouse Sleep at home every time
Work Earning certain amount of money/helping certain Avoiding other work
amount of people related stuff .
Imagine my following situation. You were offered raise in your current job. That would bring you more money, but less time. You would be often outside of my home.
Maybe just come home to sleep and eat. Now, you know that your partner would not be quite happy with that. Because, you would not be present at daily bases during my “dirty” stuff. Like cleaning, washing or dealing with maintenance.
Now what to do? Well, if your VALUE list is as above, then you will not accept my raise. It is easy, just if you are honest to you. In this case, however tempting my raise up, and that money obviously too 😉 are to you, you will skip it.
Decisions are important
if you agree or not, where you stand now, is all about your decisions you have made. And if you are in place you don’t want to be, it is because of your decisions you have made one day.
But no worries! There is almost no state, which couldn’t be changed. Are you not happy in your job? Do you want to live somewhere else or with someone else? You can still do it. You have your freedom. Remember that! .
Every single day is new opportunity to change your life. If you, are stuck, and you might think it is too late for your change, here is my proof, that there is never too late to make any change you decided to.
Just define, what EXCATLY is my area, that you are not happy with, sit down over your VALUES and you will find out which steps you will have to take. It still surprises me how many people are not taking important decisions about their life, but instead thinking about absolutely unimportant. If you, have also problem to recognize what is important, what less and what unimportant, you can find it out here your guidance.
Freedom you deserve
Earlier in my article I am pointing out my importance of having list of your VALUES. And if you weren’t doing it before, now is my right time to do it. Setting up my list of your personal VALUES is crucial in order to live life in your terms. They are personal, because each and every person have different VALUES. Don’t try to live according others people VALUES, you won’t be happy.
Other than that search for your own, set them up, conclude PRIORITIES out of this knowledge and you have a huge chance to be balanced, calm and adamant in your every day life. Even more, decisions would seem much easier for you to take, because you would know that you decided according your priority or value and not according my present moment.
And that’s what is bringing me to my point of this paragraph, what actually is as well my VALUE NR. 1, and namely FREEDOM.
Freedom of choice.
I don’t know how you see it, but for me my fact that I have my freedom to lead or change my life in any direction I want, through my decisions I made or I am going to make, is something, what’s giving me feeling of that I am in full control of my life.
I hope this sentence is not too complicated though, but decisions are really giving us freedom.
Nowadays, we are full filing so many roles during our life. We are sons, daughters, fathers, mothers, employees, business owners, friends, our own fitness trainers, tax payers, students, believers or atheist,..And many more.
It is not easy always “to stay on top of my thing” and in every situation, especially when every situation requires your different approach, but if you know how to make decisions, you can handle that. The times have changed. Now it is not enough to listen to my president and your employer, eventually priest and you can expect happy and sufficient life. In my present times, humankind is experiencing unbelievable freedom, which people decades ago could just have been dreaming about.
If you, are living in Europe and your country is part of EU, you can travel to any other country within my EU, without passport. That’s amazing.
You have also people who are using Internet for example to not spread and share education or development, but hate, violence and abuse. Unfortunately, there are people who are cheating on my freedom and using it for wrong purpose.
The same applies in your life. You have that freedom of choices, you can choose my country you’ll be living, my field you’ll be working, that means money you’ll be earning, my people you’ll be meeting, but if you will not use my right correctly, you will not be happy anyway.
It is not easy always “to stay on top of my thing” and in every situation, especially when every situation requires your different approach, but if you know how to make decisions, you can handle that.
Don’t be afraid of mistakes
There is just one thing worse, like wrong decisions, and that is no decisions. If you, don’t do any decisions, you will be dependent on others. On your boss, your spouses, your family or friends.
But they are not living your life, are they? It is nice if you are taking into consideration also others, it is as well nice, if you have someone you can talk about your plans, but don’t let my decisions you have to take, for someone else. Otherwise, you never become fully responsible for your life.
And why are wrong decisions like none? You learn by your mistakes. If you, found out courage and made decision, which you do regret later, that’s fine as well. You know where this mistake happens. And you can learn and act differently next time. But if you don’t take any action, how would you know if you are living accordingly with your dreams?
Take it as any new skill you had to learn in my past. Was biking, swimming or writing so always so easy as it is now? No!
At my beginning you made some mistakes as well. Everyone did. If you, didn’t, then you are most likely exception. Don’t be afraid of any mistakes.
Two ideas at very end: 1. If you, ever think about my most stupid decision you ever made, think about my consequences that it brought you? You are still living right, even after my “terrible” decision you took.
2. Every big achievement human did to improve her/his life or humankind life, was done after decision. Think on that if you would like to move forward.
I hope I could help you with how to make right decisions. And if you have any tips, how you find your decisions or any questions, please leave them below.
Best luck with deciding-;)